I reviewed nearly 50 movies in 2014. Most got a rating on the Blackometer from 1-10, and some I simply wrote about with a “Top 10” list (or whatever number). Out of all of those, here are my subjective best & worst movies, and my favorite reviews to write. Enjoy!
WORST movies I reviewed in 2014: (Only 4…because I can only take so much garbage)
VH1’s Man in the Mirror: I didn’t rate this one, but it gets everything wrong. The biggest thing is that it’s about someone’s life. I wrote this in August and after the Aliyah biopic came out, this somehow got a lot of viewing traffic.
Love Don’t Cost a Thing: One of my earliest reviews. So bad, I had 12 things under ‘what doesn’t work’ and a section called ‘people I missed during this movie’ as well as ‘actual lines from the movie I hated.’
Madea’s Family Reunion (Play): The worst of all of Tyler Perry’s play…and somehow, this was the first one I ever saw as a kid, and I kept watching. I’m glad I kept watching his shows. I’m not glad that this play sucks.
House Party 4: Most pointless thing ever put to film. So bad, I couldn’t even rate it – I just listed the top 20 things WRONG with it. My brother tricked me into watching this, and I haven’t been the same since.
BEST movies I reviewed in 2014:
Dreamgirls: Still one of my all-time favorite movies. SO well done.
Prince of Egypt: One of the best things every put to animation, and it still holds up magnificently.
Into the Woods: Without a doubt, one of the best movies to hit the big screen in 2014. Meryl Streep deserves all the awards.
Beauty and the Beast: My favorite Disney film, and everything is perfect about it. Period. In other news, GASTON.
Pitch Perfect: I wrote about how good this movie is, and why it deserves a sequel. It will probably always be a favorite of mine, and it was one of my earliest ‘I can throw gifs in my posts?! Cool!!!’ posts.
TOP 10 Reviews That were the most fun to write:
Fat Albert (The most viewed post on my site! What an impact this movie has had…I suppose.)
Just for the heck of it…It’s Friday!
This is one of my favorite movies, and rather than write about it…I’ll just let the quotes speak for themselves. (Warning: The title is Top 20, but I lost count. Because you can’t just list 20. Let’s be honest.)
Enjoy & feel free to add your own favorite quotes! I only scratched the surface here.
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Brian Fantana: Don’t get me wrong, I love the ladies – I mean they rev my engines – but they don’t belong in the newsroom!! Champ Kind: It is anchorman, not anchorlady. And that is a scientific fact! Brick Tamland: I DON’T KNOW WHAT WE’RE YELLING ABOUT Brian Fantana: You’re with us, Ron, what do you think? Ron Burgundy: [shouting] She… Sh… It’s TERRIBLE. SHE HAS BEAUTIFUL EYES AND HER HAIR SMELLS LIKE CINNAMON! Brick Tamland: [shouts] LOOOOUD NOISES!!!
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Brick Tamland: I read somewhere their periods attract bears. Bears can smell the menstruation. Brian Fantana: Well, that’s just great. You hear that, Ed? Bears. Now you’re putting the whole station in jeopardy.
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Garth Holliday: You were my hero Ron! Why’d you have to say that? You come out with stink like that. [Starts to cry] Poop. You poopmouth, with poop out of your mouth! Ron Burgundy: Garth, if I would give you some money out of my wallet, would that ease the pain?
Ron Burgundy: I wanna say something. I’m gonna put it out there; if you like it, you can take it, if you don’t, send it right back. I want to be on you.
[Veronica turns and walks away] Ron Burgundy: Wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I… I wanna be on you.
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Brian Fantana: No, she gets a special cologne… It’s called Sex Panther by Odeon. It’s illegal in nine countries… Yep, it’s made with bits of real panther, so you know it’s good. Ron Burgundy: It’s quite pungent. Brian Fantana: Oh yeah. Ron Burgundy: It’s a formidable scent… It stings the nostrils. In a good way. Brian Fantana: Yep. Ron Burgundy: Brian, I’m gonna be honest with you, that smells like pure gasoline. Brian Fantana: They’ve done studies, you know. 60% of the time, it works every time. [cheesy grin] Ron Burgundy: That doesn’t make sense.
Ron Burgundy: Discovered by the Germans in 1904, they named it San Diego, which of course in German means a whale’s vagina. Veronica Corningstone: No, there’s no way that’s correct. Ron Burgundy: I’m sorry, I was trying to impress you. I don’t know what it means. I’ll be honest, I don’t think anyone knows what it means anymore. Scholars maintain that the translation was lost hundreds of years ago. Veronica Corningstone: Doesn’t it mean Saint Diego? Ron Burgundy: No. No. Veronica Corningstone: No, that’s – that’s what it means. Really. Ron Burgundy: Agree to disagree.
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Ron Burgundy: Boy, that escalated quickly… I mean, that really got out of hand fast. Champ Kind: It jumped up a notch. Ron Burgundy: It did, didn’t it? Brick Tamland: Yeah, I stabbed a man in the heart. Ron Burgundy: I saw that. Brick killed a guy. Did you throw a trident? Brick Tamland: Yeah, there were horses, and a man on fire, and I killed a guy with a trident. Ron Burgundy: Brick, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that. You should find yourself a safehouse or a relative close by. Lay low for a while, because you’re probably wanted for murder.
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Veronica Corningstone: Mr. Harken, this city needs its news. Ed Harken: Oh! Veronica Corningstone: And you are going to deprive them of that because I have breasts? Exquisite breasts? Now, I am gonna go on, and if you want to try and stop me, bring it on. Because I am good at three things: Fighting, screwing, and reading the news. I’ve already done one of those today, so what’s the other one gonna be? Huh? Ed Harken: [thinks about it] Screwing?
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Champ Kind: I will smash your face into a car windshield, and then take your mother, Dorothy Mantooth, out for a nice seafood dinner and never call her again. Wes Mantooth: Dorothy Mantooth is a Saint! Ron Burgundy: Hey, let’s leave the mothers out of this.
*** Announcer: You’re watching Channel 4 News with five-time Emmy award-winning anchor Ron Burgundy and Tits McGee. Veronica Corningstone: Good evening, San Diego. I’m Veronica Corningstone. Tits McGee is on vacation. Ron Burgundy: And I’m Tits… I’m Ron Burgundy.
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Ed Harken: [on the phone] I have no idea where he would have gotten ahold of German pornography. But you and I are mature adults; we’ve both seen our share of pornographic materials. Oh, you never have? Of course you haven’t, how stupid of me. Neither have I. I was just speaking in generalities. Right. I’ll stop by the school a little later, Sister Margaret.
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Brian Fantana: Panda Watch. The mood is tense; I have been on some serious, serious reports but nothing quite like this. I uh… Ching… King is inside right now. I tried to get an interview with him, but they said no, you can’t do that he’s a live bear, he will literally rip your face off. [to the Panda] Hey, you’re making me look stupid. Get out here, Panda Jerk!
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And of course…
I’m BB2. You stay classy, Internet.
-BB2
*Thanks to the Anchoman IMDd page for easy copy-past access.
Happy May 19th everyone! Welcome to this week’s segment of Music Monday! In this segment, we take a look at enjoyable music that means something to us, and I in turn ask you for some of your favorites as well!
Today we’re changing things up with my favorite rock song:
Carry On Wayward Son
Famed rock band, Kansas, released this song on their 1977 progressive rock album of the same title. I’m not THAT a huge fan of rock music, but somehow, this song does it for me as far as tunes from that genre. It’s upbeat, exciting, gets you pumped up, and seems encouraging as well, like it actually has something to say. The 3-part harmony used in the chorus, while simple, is one of my favorite harmonic things to sing along with (any part). And of course, the band is just great – musically well-done, whether or not it gets you excited or not.
I think the biggest reason I love this song is because it reminds me of friends I made during college. Our favorite movie to watch together on a Friday night off was Anchorman (which is hilarious), and this song appears during the ending credits. We would also play rock band with one of my former/best roommates, and this was one of the most fun songs to play, and somewhere in there, I started being more open to certain fun rock songs. So basically, the songs themselves aren’t as up there for me personally in terms of favorites as much as Seth MacFarlane or Sarah Vaughan singing jazz, or incredible Take 6 a capella, or gospel greats such as Kirk Franklin or Tye Tribbett. BUT I do like it because of the fun times they take me back to in college with some very memorable friends. And that’s another great thing about music too, right?
So there’s this week’s Music Monday! I hope you had fun rocking out to Kansas, and maybe you have a song(s) that remind you of some special people or memories in your life. If so, share them below! Let’s keep good music and good memories well and alive.
BB2 