BB2’s Best, Worst, and Favorite 2014 Movie Reviews

I reviewed nearly 50 movies in 2014. Most got a rating on the Blackometer from 1-10, and some I simply wrote about with a “Top 10” list (or whatever number). Out of all of those, here are my subjective best & worst movies, and my favorite reviews to write. Enjoy!

WORST movies I reviewed in 2014
:
(Only 4…because I can only take so much garbage)

  1. VH1’s Man in the Mirror: I didn’t rate this one, but it gets everything wrong. The biggest thing is that it’s about someone’s life. I wrote this in August and after the Aliyah biopic came out, this somehow got a lot of viewing traffic.

  2. Love Don’t Cost a Thing: One of my earliest reviews. So bad, I had 12 things under ‘what doesn’t work’ and a section called ‘people I missed during this movie’ as well as ‘actual lines from the movie I hated.’

  3. Madea’s Family Reunion (Play): The worst of all of Tyler Perry’s play…and somehow, this was the first one I ever saw as a kid, and I kept watching. I’m glad I kept watching his shows. I’m not glad that this play sucks.

  4. House Party 4: Most pointless thing ever put to film. So bad, I couldn’t even rate it – I just listed the top 20 things WRONG with it. My brother tricked me into watching this, and I haven’t been the same since.

BEST movies I reviewed in 2014:

  1. Dreamgirls: Still one of my all-time favorite movies. SO well done.

  2. Prince of Egypt: One of the best things every put to animation, and it still holds up magnificently.

  3. Into the Woods: Without a doubt, one of the best movies to hit the big screen in 2014. Meryl Streep deserves all the awards.

  4. Beauty and the Beast: My favorite Disney film, and everything is perfect about it. Period. In other news, GASTON.

  5. Pitch Perfect: I wrote about how good this movie is, and why it deserves a sequel. It will probably always be a favorite of mine, and it was one of my earliest ‘I can throw gifs in my posts?! Cool!!!’ posts.

TOP 10 Reviews That were the most fun to write:

  1. Fat Albert (The most viewed post on my site! What an impact this movie has had…I suppose.)

  2. Why Did I Get Married?

  3. Dreamgirls

  4. Beauty Shop

  5. Pitch Perfect

  6. Anchorman

  7. Princess and the Frog

  8. Beauty and the Beast

  9. Madea Goes to Jail

  10. Muppet Treasure Island

Here’s to more movies in 2015!
-BB2

Movies Kevin Hart Should Have Been In

kevin hart
So let’s face it: Kevin Hart is having an exceptional year. He’s transitioned from standup comedian to America’s favorite funny man to beloved comedian to that guy who’s in EVERY movie coming out in 2014. Like, every movie. (No, seriously. He stunt-doubled in Maleficent as the crow the first time we meet him. Go watch it again.) Whether or not the films he was in were successful (Think Like a Man) or not (Soul Plane), the rising stardom and success of Kevin Hart is undeniably fantastic. His latest standup Let Me Explain created the second hardest laughter I’ve experienced within the last year. And his presence in recent movies like Ride Along and such, he escalated the movie’s humor gigantically with his joke, strong writing, and a personality larger than his…well, height.
Ride_Along_poster
You get the point. Kevin Hart is awesome. And EVERYWHERE.

SO everywhere, in fact…that I wonder how other crappy movies would have been saved if they would have gave Kevin Hart a call! Think about it. If your favorite flimsy film had harrowed some Hart humor, it’s suckiness shant have survived. Therefore, in lieu of the release of Think Like a Man Too, I’d like to take a look at lackluster movies and explore how K-Hart would have made them better!

  1. Love Don’t Cost a Thing
    Of the films I’ve reviewed this year, this one is my LEAST favorite. The worst quote is the athlete bully yelling at Nick Cannon’s friends during the game to leave their seats (apparently “for cool kids only”). He says “LOSERS TO THE LEFT!” and it is at this moment, when no one stops him, that there are NO adults in the movie making these loser children be accountable for their actions. Insert Kevin Hart as the basketball coach, who would have gone up to the bully to put him in check.
    HART: Hey! Boy, get back on the court! What you think this is?!
    BULLY (to ‘geek’): Get off our seats! LOSERS TO THE LEFT!
    HART: (to bully) No – Losers back on the court! What are you doing, boy!? Get back to the game! I got money on this, young playa!
    stop it
  2. Fat Albert
    I’d say he could have been the replacement Omarion. You know, instead of having Omarion “trying to be the antagonist”, we could have just had Kevin Hart as another schoolmate or something, a buddy or Kyla Pratt who told some jokes along the way. Even if it was a few throwaway fat jokes, him doing it would’ve made us all forget about Russell’s stupid junkyard backplot easier.
    "Nobody makes a fool out of Reggie...except for Reggie!"
  3. Fighting Temptations
    How great would it have been if K-Hart was in the choir, sang TERRIBLY, but they had to keep him because it turned out he was Lilly’s (Beyonce) cousin and she would only stay if Darrin (Cuba Gooding Jr.) kept him? SO many great moments would have come from this. Because as we all know, in every choir, there’s always that ONE guy.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZjCfvwg8TsE
  4. Batman & Robin
    We all know this movie sucks. Maybe Kevin Hart could have been Mr. Freeze’s sidekick who put him in check for all those bad ice puns.
  5. Shark Tale
    Kevin Hart as the annoying shrimp. Self-Explanatory? Yes. Stupid? Yes. Hilarious still? Heck yes.

    "Say hello to my little friend, MITCHES!"

    “Say hello to my little friend, MITCHES!”

  6. Training Day
    Just because of the explanation of his SNL audition doing how he thought this movie should have gone. I mean, come on!
  7. Space Jam
    How great would it have been if instead of Bill Murray showing up at the end, Kevin Hart comes in, tries to steal scoring the winning basket, has this huge slow-mo where he’s in the air, and he misses? Then he’s just standing there blankly like “uh…wait wait wait, lemme get another shot, I was just getting warmed up!”
  8. Bebe’s Kids
    Hart would’ve have put up with that mess. He’s a better father than that.
    kevin hart kids
  9. Grown Ups 2
    When not even Chris Rock can save your movie (bad writing withstanding), your movie has a problem. Perhaps trading David Spade for Kevin Hart and letting him & Rock spar off would have brought in more laughs and definitely a wider audience.
  10. THE WIZ
    Yes, I’m still pulling for the fact that Kevin Hart needs to play the Lion. Do I even need to explain?

What other films do you think need a heaping helping of Hart? Drop some comments and let me know! Here’s to more Hart-enduced laughter this year and for more to come.

-BB2

P.S. This is my FAVORITE Kevin Hart standup joke: (from Let Me Explain)