America: Now What?

Maybe you’re reading this just as confused, angered and frightened as I am of America’s 2016 election results. Maybe you’re just the opposite. Either way, here we are. If you’re a frightened African-American, you might identify w/exactly what I’ve been fearing for months now. Or perhaps you’re a frightened of your LBGT rights being taken away, or the potential Muslim ban, or what will happen with immigration and healthcare, or a host of other legitimate concerns.

Maybe you’ve been part of the social media wave of “we need to love each other and unite now more than ever” from 3am into the morning. Or maybe you said online “we need to respect whoever the winner is” having not respected President Obama’s accomplishments for the past 8 years. Maybe you’re baffled that we went from our first black President to one being elected after a KKK endorsement. Maybe you’re a minority who never felt that America really valued you as a person due to countless evidences of discrimination, murders, racism, and the like (the reason why many older black adults aren’t as surprised about what’s happened). Or maybe you’ve felt that although you’re in the majority in this country, you’ve been pushed aside and ignored until now. Either way, all – a major change is coming.

To the point: what now? As a young, black male, I’m not looking forward to facing the fears now grappling our country. Half of our country has proven what they want, and that they don’t value those different from them, and that is beyond shameful. As much as I could rant about the fear that many of us are facing, I have to do the best I can to be the difference by just doing what God put me here to do. Nothing will change that. I am a choral director, a musician, and a friend. I need to continue making art and share this with my singers, standing as tall as possible. I need to encourage them to use our artwork to both unity us and provide solace for our audiences. I’ve always taught my choirs about the importance our music can have in dark times. I am a firm believer in this, and this will be the best time to uphold that belief. Music has always been a powerful tool, and it will always be my greatest method for unification – no matter how different, we are all people standing together to make one song in our own way.

I encourage all of you, wherever you stand in what’s happening in America – find YOUR solace. Find YOUR song. Find YOUR choir – whatever that is to you. My method of unity might look different than yours, but the love that will come from it may be all we have soon.

(Finally, please do not act on emotion today. If you regularly suffer from depression or anxiety, and you are genuinely concerned after the election results, talk to a loved one or a professional immediately. Seriously.)

Your friend,
-BB2

A Trump Presidency Would Deepen the Racial Divide

If Donald Trump inherits the Oval Office from President Obama next month, I am in great fear for the racial divide in America. My fear is that it will become much worse than it already is – fatally worse.

Let me start here. I will admit, I was never one to care all that much about politics growing up. Presidential elections always seemed to cause those “I know better than you” arguments, especially online (where everyone likes to use their “opinion” to be the “expert”). I was in college when President Obama was elected, and being black, I remember every single person of color I knew being extremely happy. Actually, more than that – hopeful. Overjoyed. There was a sense of “if he can do this, there’s hope for us all.” And I admit, I didn’t fully understand the significance of this at the time, because I’ve seen black people get excited about a lot of things (shoes, black-casted shows, new church fans). But I’ve also seen our people burdened by a lot as well.

Fast forward to the shooting of Michael Brown. Eric Garner. Freddie Gray. Tamir Rice. Oscar Grant III. Sandra Bland. Alton Sterling. Philando Castile. Terence Crutcher. In the very least, I’m sure you’ve seen these names: black people who were senselessly murdered by police. Obviously, there are too many to mention, and these are not a new “phenomenon” in the last 5 years – these are just some of the ones publicly documented. Rather than reflect on these deaths of innocent men and women, I will simply say that these were all victims of defiant racism, and that I’m sure they are heavily missed by the families they were ripped away from. (This is the saddest part of each of these stories, no matter the details.)

Now, why do I bring these up? Each time I woke up to a video surfacing online of an unarmed black man being murdered by an officer, I watched several of my black peers fear that they could be next. Soon, this realization became mine. Forget that I have my share of accomplishments, a strong education, and have always maintained good will with others. If I were to be pulled over on my commute to work by an officer who happens to be hateful and racist, no matter how respectful or cooperative I was, no matter how well I used the words my parents taught me to say if pulled over – all the officer would see is the skin I’m in. And it could be all they want to see – and the last thing I see.

So fast forward to this election season. We’ve all been overexposed to stories about Trump and many of his controversies. I don’t need to dig any deeper into that (see: Google, Fox, CNN, several great Late Night TV show takedowns). Here’s the thing: Trump doesn’t scare me. No. The worst part of this EXHAUSTING, never-ending election season is how telling it has been of the American people. If you haven’t figured it out yet, his campaign has become extremely divisive – more than I’ve ever seen.

You know the comments section under literally anything on the internet? Trolls, rude commenters, the creepy guy from the subway who your mom said “don’t make eye contact”? So, if you go on Twitter and scroll through literally any thread by or about Donald Trump, there they are. And they are dedicated…and they are serious. They want the border wall to keep the “rapist Mexicans” out. They refer to blacks with that word you’re afraid for your black friends to hear you use. Some of them changed their Twitter profile and banners pictures to nazi symbols, or are calling for white supremacy. (I hope this isn’t news to you.)

Many of these people have proven, purely by their responses, that they do not understand people different from them. (I can only speak about the black experience on my end, but I know other minorities, women, etc. feel this way as well.) Trump has said that he thinks all black people live in terrible neighborhoods with awful homes and schools, and that he is our only hope. We are not collectively destitute – this sounds like a racist generalization. He’s referred to someone as “my African-American.” Sounds like something you’d hear said in a slave movie, no? I could go on, but here’s plenty more examples, and feel free to ask Google for others. His followers all seem to be in agreement. Even if they are trying to remain loyal to the GOP but they disagree with his statements, they aren’t taking a stand against these remarks either. (Neither is the GOP.)

Honestly, I could go on all day about things Trump has said, or dig into the #BlackLivesMatter movement, but here’s my bigger issue. A leader demonstrates and represents what they want to see from their followers. A leader encourages and guides their followers in a certain direction. I learned this right away from various leadership positions, and it is true no matter how big or small your following – all eyes are on you for what direction you will take your people in. During the first presidential debate this year, when asked about how to heal the racial divide in America, Trump repeatedly pointed back to “law and order.” He completely negated any idea that people of color have been truly hurting by systematic racism, and instead has continually stated that we need to respect the police more, and stop putting so much pressure on them. Now, words mean things. In other words, he’s telling every innocent, murdered black person and their families “that cop was in the right, you should’ve obeyed them better just like you were told, you probably had it coming.”

To tie all of this together: Trump has proven relentlessly that he does not understand the experiences of anyone different than him – that is, anyone who is not a rich, straight, white male. Everything I’ve said so far, I say because I feel deep in my spirit that his supporters are ready for this “change” he has been talking about. A Trump presidency will mean that these racist words and intentions will be much more condoned than they already are. And don’t get me wrong – THINGS ARE ALREADY BAD. While race relations have come a long, long way, this election season and these killings have both somehow worked together to expose that there is definitely still strong hatred, bigotry, and racism in this country among some people. So if Trump is elected, and something happens, I cannot believe for a second that he will be on the side of someone like me – because he doesn’t get it. He simply can’t.

Much of my life, I’ve always been the only black person in a group of friends, school, workplace, etc. (or one of a few). I know many excellent black people, and I have many wonderful white colleagues and close friends to whom I owe a lot. I love them all because they are good people first. I know I can trust any of them, and that they are understanding people. While I don’t think the average 65-year-old blowhard racist will change their ways when they see me enjoying jazz while driving my nice car, I do believe that those of us who get it need to take a stand against hate. Sometimes, people who hate don’t even know that they’re hateful – there are feelings they have about other people which they haven’t dealt with at all. Maybe it makes them uncomfortable, or maybe they like being ignorant. But no deep wound ever heals when you let it fester – it just gets worse.

No matter what your race is, check yourself on how you view other people. The Golden Rule still stands. And check each other – who are you surrounding yourself with?

No one should have to live in fear, especially because of other people.

Please, go vote on November 8th.
-BB2

God, Church and Christians: Misconceptions and Bad Conceptions

“Christians are very judgmental.”
“Organized religion is a cult.”
“Only church people make it to heaven.”
“Christianity requires you to ‘give up’ fun things, or restrict yourself.”
“You can’t dress or act like that in here.”
“Something must be wrong with you…that’s why God let this happen.”
“Once I was able to reason, I learned I was a sinner and God was upset. I [also] discovered non-Christians are also nice people. So whom do you believe?”

I have been raised Christian my entire life. I have never been the guy to hang out on the streets and try to hand you a Bible, or the guy to protest others for their “ugly sins.” My expression avenues have always been through music and trying to manage my own life the best I can. In 2015, there are so many varying views, opinions, lifestyles and experiences as people try to live their very best across the world. But what’s interesting is that God seems to be the entity receiving the largest amount of mixed conceptions. Some thank God when good things happen, some blame him when the bad takes place (or both). Some may choose another route completely, finding something else to put their trust in. Why is that?

Here’s my theory: any time we don’t like something, that means we had a previous influence steer us away from it. It could be our own perception, another person’s opinion, or even a bad experience. My brother doesn’t like peanut butter because he didn’t like the taste of it – but he has to taste it first to arrive at that conclusion. Some may have negative conceptions of God because of a former experience (or experiences) that they had, which may often have been with other people. Even people who are church-goers and/or Christians have confused and discouraged each other with their words, sometimes right in the church! Next thing you know, you have people in the church leaving, and people outside the church wanting nothing to do with “that religion stuff” or “the crazies” or “the high-and-mighties.” All of this and MUCH more, as I’m finding, is a leading cause is misrepresenting what God is actually about, and misleading people away from Him.

Today, I don’t want to try to force you to think you need to drop what you’re doing and run to the altar with your hands up. I don’t want to tell you how wrong you are, or how right you are. That’s not my place, and I am not an expert myself – just a young, 20something black male. I want to, instead, address the things that are untrue about God, church and faith that are false stereotypes; but also the bad things that are being done, which NEED to stop.

Misconceptions:

1. “You’re not good enough” or “God doesn’t love you”: Some church folks have shown this with the hesitant way they act towards newcomers. Some just up and say it to your face. Some who may not be church-goers say it to keep you away from trying church. LOOK: Anyone, no matter who you are, should never tell this to any human being no matter what the context. I’ve written plenty of blog posts and research papers, and although I’m far from being published, no one can tell me I’m not good enough at it to try. I’d just work harder at it and seek outside assistance when proofreading! So don’t tell anyone they aren’t good enough for God. He loves everyone the same no matter what, and saying otherwise will only discourage them, tick them off, and misrepresent what God’s about. It DOES show, however, excellence in ignorance.
2. “Church makes you christian”: Here’s the thing: sitting in a Starbucks doesn’t make you a frappuccino. As great as church has been for me personally, no church is perfect. And the good ones are aware – that’s why they exist, to foster people needing God to help them! Being Christian means you accept Jesus and you have (or are developing) a relationship with Him. Going to church surrounds you with his messages to give you a weekly spiritual boost, and it surrounds you with others trying to keep themselves on his straight-and-narrow as well. Otherwise, it’s like marathon training by yourself: not like you can’t do it, but when you go through the rough stages or want to quit, you need someone there to help push you along and tell you not to give up!
3. “Christians are perfect” – I’m not perfect because of Jesus. I’m not perfect, so I need Jesus! If people were perfect, there would be no reason to do or be anything, because we’d all be robots. Don’t let anyone fool you – everyone has their shortcomings.
4. “You have to act a certain way”: The only thing you HAVE to do as a Christian is believe in Jesus and try to live your life as a good example through Him. But listen: believing in God doesn’t always mean you were the worst human being on earth before, and some Christians write others off when they make it sound like this. God takes you as you are, and makes you better. Plain and simple!! So if you go to church for the first time looking for answers in a very difficult time, don’t let Sister Patty LaWeave and her attitude tell you “sorry but we don’t let hoochies in here” or “you might want to change your clothes before you come to God” or even “God wouldn’t have made you that way if he loved you.” You just stay in there and get whatever it is that you needed that day. At the end of the day, you’re still his son or daughter, and he just wants the chance to be there for you. Sister Patty LaWeave has nothing to do with that, because she can’t help you.

Bad Conceptions:

1. JUDGEMENTAL CHRISTIANS: The #1 complaint of Christians from day one. I can’t call this a misconception because it is true of many – not all by any means, but it definitely exists. The Bible tells God’s followers not to do this unless they want to be judged too. But this is a problem far spanning religion. Christians are judged for being Bible-toting do-gooders who stay in their little judgmental box. Minorities are judged based on the color of their skin. Women are judged by men who don’t want to be surpassed. The LBGT community is judged by those who ask why they “choose being this way”. I could go on, but look: WE ARE ALL PEOPLE. PERIOD! If you don’t accept me or respect me, my default will be to want nothing you stand for. But if you, the imperfect person, show me, another imperfect person, respect and kindness, I may be more open to you and what you stand for.
2. Christians saying negative things to each other: Some of the things that are said are misconceptions. The fact that negative things are being said is not a misconception. I’ve touched on some of these examples already, as well as the fact that we need to treat each other with respect. Yes? Yes. This is at its’ worse here because the church is a place where people should be lifting each other up, not tearing each other down. The rest of the world has enough negativity and esteem-knocking as it is! The worst example I heard recently was a Christian telling a woman with a miscarriage that God took their child because “something must have been wrong with it, but better that He took it instead of letting it be born with something wrong.” Are you kidding me?!? The fact that this statement alone didn’t completely steer this person away from God in such a vulnerable time is a miracle of God in itself.
3. Churches are close-minded/won’t adapt: This is another thing that many are guilty of, but it’s also associated with the Christian stereotype. It also boils down to: some people like things a certain way and in strict order, while others are cooler about going with the flow. I’m no expert in how churches operate, but when my church had to move to new buildings twice within two years and across town, being closed-minded was not an option. We had to adapt to some logistical change nearly every week, and without people willing to adapt, there would be no church right now. If a marketing consultant never adapts with social media sites, he or she is chopping out a huge part of potential outlets and the company doesn’t grow as well. I could go on with more examples, but you get the point. When things change, good or bad, we have to go with it if we want to grow. Otherwise, we’d all be perfect, right?

Now, I don’t want the things I’ve just mentioned to scare people away from God. But these are very real things that anyone may have experienced when it comes to him, church and other Christians. It is true that some Christians don’t always use the best approach. It’s also true that some Christians really do their best to represent God to anyone they encounter. I’m not always the best example, but I try to remain open-minded, I love all sorts of people, and I tend to get along with most people I meet. My personal experience is that God has gotten me where I am today, and I just don’t want to see more people write the guy off because of Christians saying or doing blatantly negative things. You hear about Westboro Baptist Church type of situations, and well, of course people are going to feel some kind of way!

To reiterate my bottom line: WE ARE ALL PEOPLE. NO ONE IS BETTER THAN THE OTHER. Me talking to Jesus does not, in any way, make me a better human being that you. We all have eyes, ears, hands and toes. We all like to eat, look forward to payday, and enjoy the electric slide a wedding once in a while. Not only are we all human: none of us are perfect. In fact, I am quite aware of how flawed I am. I’ll probably make a good few mistakes tomorrow! Now, my comfort in making my mistakes is that, no matter what, God will forgive me and let me pick up & learn from it (sometimes, after checking me). This doesn’t give me a license to be a screw-up; it just insures me that no matter what, He will still love me. Maybe not all my actions, but me. He has this thing called unconditional love – and nothing we do is ever bad enough for it to run out. No living thing on earth is capable of this. I can say with certainty that when I found myself as low as I could possibly be, God’s unconditional love was the only thing to let me know it’d be all right, and to pick things back up. (It wasn’t stories I’d heard, not other people so much, not any of my stuff – it’s something no one else can provide quite as well).

Depending on the eyes reading those last few statements, the word “preachy” may come to mind. That is far from my goal, or my calling in life. But I want to close with these two things that I hope we can all at least try to agree on:

1. Love each other. Everyone on this earth deserves that, no matter what. When I see people, I don’t immediately think of them as gay, white, Japanese, Jewish, fat, sick, mentally challenged or whatever. I say “hey Sam, how’s it going?” Even if some people make me hope I never see them again for some reason, I still do my best to treat them right. Not only do I want that back from them, but it’s how we were made. Everybody doesn’t stick to that all the time, but I can only work on me.

2. Meet people where they’re at. We are all very different from each other! I can’t necessarily talk to a young person about faith the same way I would to an old person (for example). Christians, every approach can’t be the same for everybody – once we’ve acknowledged that we weren’t sprung from the ground perfect, we need to respect and love people before trying to approach them about God. And if you’re someone being approached about God, I’d say at least be open to listening. Hopefully it’s done in a way that peaks an interest in the very least. I promise you, it was His sheer grace alone that got me where I am today and kept my family alive countless times. True story.

We all have free will to chose whatever we wish to believe. Just remember: a student has to be willing to be taught, but it won’t work if the teacher only says “nope, wrong answer, it was 6.” But if the teacher says “here’s how I got there; now you try for yourself. If you want it, you can totally do it”, the results might just be a little different.

-BB2

BB2 Monthly Assessment: January ’15

So. How are your New Years’ Resolutions going???
Better yet: How are those resolutions you set last year in January 2014?????

The point of setting a personal “resolution” is usually to make one’s self better in some way, big or small, via a positive change in life. This change must be achieved with a consistently changed habit. Changing a habit is one of the most challenging things a living being can experience, because it forces us to consistently think about the little things we are doing on the daily. When pursued for the right reasons and supported by consistency, it can often lead to the strongest of development for you in major ways. We often think of dietary/physical change as one of the biggest, but it doesn’t really matter what the change is – what matters is that you stick to it in order to transform. Here’s an example that I was absolutely taking for granted.

Just over a year ago now, I dislocated my shoulder while stretching. My arm popped completely out of the socket for about 90 seconds while watching Johnson Family Vacation (could have influenced the rating I gave the movie upon reviewing it months ago) and it was, to date, the worst physical pain I have ever felt. Prior to this, I was rather double-jointed – as in, I could do the rolling the arms over the shoulder thing. However, after my accident, I definitely could not stretch my arms over & behind my shoulders anymore. This meant every single time I went stretch (which was a pretty good amount per day), I couldn’t really extend myself too much. If I was around my mother, she would have to remind me to put my arms down. Of course, I’d be instantly annoyed because I usually did this absent-mindedly. But that’s part of the point – I had to  make a conscious decision to keep myself from doing that in order to avoid the possibility of disconnecting my arms again. Because let me tell you – it was not fun the first time around!

Changing a habit involves a conscious decision to do so, followed by an intentful consistency in keeping yourself evolving. That is what’s currently helping me to keep myself physically in tact in the limbs department. I kind of need these things to last for a while (just saying). The same goes for any habit you may want to change about yourself for the better! Are you seeking to better your relationships, a physical attribute, or being bad at mornings? (I’m still working on that one.) Take that thing, program it into your daily life, have a person nearby to keep you honest about it, and push through the frustrations. This was a small example, but I’m still dealing with it and probably will for a while. However, it’s giving me the right kind of motivation and perseverance in small ways that I’ll need on other things on a larger scale.

So I ask again: how are your habit-changing lifestyles going?

-BB2

BB2 Monthly Assessment: 2014

I started graduate school, majoring in choral conducting and taking on challenging coursework.
I performed in some barbershop quartet gig for Valentine’s Day and helped to bring joy to a few faces.
I started a blog for movie reviews, personal reflection, and whatever else I could think of as a writing catharsis.
I performed some of Handel’s Messiah twice for Lent services, both soloing and conducting.
I performed in far too many choral concerts to count.
I became the choral graduate assistant, as well as the director of the Men’s Chorus, where I learned at least three times as much as I taught.
I took part in the craziest, but most rewarding season of Stan Hywet, strengthening various skills, doing multiple jobs, having an impact on tons of people, and most importantly, making some wonderful new friends who give me life.
I stepped into the ELAB Coordinator role for YEPAW 2014, taking on a new level of organization, leadership, guidance, and servant-hood – great friendships were made here as well. Later, I became a YEPAW 365 Transformation Agent.
My youngest brother graduated from high school and started his collegiate journey.
I started becoming closer to the church I sing for, and began to accept them more as a church home/family – something which had been missing for some time.
I worked through an inconvenient injury which had long-lasting effects, right down to weeks of physical therapy, an MRI scan, and my own handicapped pass.
I returned to voice lessons and developed further as a soloist.
I composed arrangements of some of my favorite Christmas songs.
I was caught quoting a few ridiculous things that, for some reason, brought others joy.
I watched two pairs of friends get married this summer and begin a new journey together.
I developed my organizational & professional skills further with various organizations & jobs.
I helped with the organization of a major two-day High School Choir Festival for around 150 HS choir students from all over the state.
I put on a Christmas concert at Stan Hywet consisting of my own solos, choir, brass ensemble, along with a few of my own arrangements in the rep; so many people enjoyed it, and after the amount of time and planning put into it, I was exceptionally enamored with how well we were received.

So I did a lot of things in 2014, and stayed busy. Yes. You know what else I did?
I laughed.
I cackled.
I kept my family nearby.
I created.
I worked.
I watched a lot of SNL.
I dressed well whenever possible.
I loved as much as possible.
I kept my faith in Christ in me.
I laughed at the wrong moments.
I said dumb, awkward things.
I got worse at mornings.
I tried to do nice things for others when I could.
I got irritated sometimes.
I scrolled through Twitter to procrastinate.
I Googled cool gifs to put in my blog posts/movie reviews.
I made fun of my siblings as much as possible.
They made fun of me back.

But most importantly…
I lived.

As we approach 2015, don’t feel pressured to transform yourself into a better you arbitrarily; just seek improvement, and ride life’s changes with discernment. In other words: live.
-BB2

BB2 Monthly Assessment: November

Hi all,

In the midst of trying to finish this semester and Thanksgiving weekend activity, I didn’t get this out during the actual month of November, and now I’ve lost my time to do it the way I had hoped originally…so instead, I’d like to do this:

Please remember this holiday season to just exercise genuine and consistent kindness as often as possible. Also remember what the season is really all about. It’s so easy to get caught up in “OMG I HAVE TO DO THIS AND GO THERE AND THERE’S NO TIME TO—” and even as I type this, I know I’ll very easily get wrapped up in stressing over similar thoughts! (Mostly over school.) However, in a time of year where we’re even more apt to do this than usual, this is the time of year in which the most kindness is needed. It’s Christmas!!

We are at a time in the world in which “Joy to the World” and “peace on earth” are very much absent from the hearts of many. Just in the past few months, we’ve dealt nationally with things like the Ferguson case/riots, ebola breakouts, suicide stories, the Cosby allegations…and so much more. We need something to be joyful about. I have been encouraged recently by just saying “Merry Christmas” to people at work and having it said back just about every time – not a disgruntled, ignoring gesture or snarky remark about kicking Christ out of Christmas and being offended – but they returned my Christmas cheer! It’s a little thing, but it’s a very big thing to me in the world we live in.

So I encourage you – find some ways to really give love this Christmas season, and watch it be returned!

-BB2

Why This Whole Bill Cosby Thing Just Sucks

Like many others in America, I grew up in a world where Bill Cosby taught us that accomplishing something great with your life and meeting high expectations was completely possible. He mixed comedy with earnestness, sincerity and a father-like heartwarmingness that made many of us aspire to do things we may have never imagined possible. He had a knack for knowing how to reach people (especially kids) during the latter decades of the 1900s, but continued to the present day to pour out into the children, because he realized that they were the future of our world. In other words – Bill Cosby was a highly motivational and influential figure in our lives.

Having said that…this whole rape controversy mess is…well, just terrible. Period.

The thing is: of course you never want to believe things like these are true. Especially of highly respected heroes who have done so much good for people. Yes, everyone has their faults. Yes, he did have a sketchy past that included having a child out of wedlock during his marriage to Camille years and years ago. People seem to forget that “celebrities” are people too – people who make mistakes, whether not-that-great or flat out awful. Sexual assault, of course, is no joke among these, and Cosby’s fame + his glowing past makes this even more devastating. If Cosby had less good will surrounding the name he’s built for himself, it’d be easier to write off the so-and-so as a monster we could all despise (which some have already jumped the Cosby ship in full swing anyway). But with everything I listed at the beginning (and then some), this makes the realization of a potential monsterous chain of events all the more devastating.

Now, on one hand, it’s very hard to say that a woman is lying about sexual assault, no matter how long the time frame between the incident and confession. It’s a very serious matter, one that has a long-lasting impact on the victim and their emotions. So while I personally don’t want to believe the stories that are coming forth, and while you could make a case for the timeline of these events being a potential hoax, is it really our job to say that a woman is lying about something so serious? Sure, it could be a hoax for money or to shut Cosby’s reputation down for whatever the reason. But how much can we really speculate?

Also, Cosby is not saying anything about this. Likely, this is a legal move – as in, the less he says, the better. But this isn’t like when twitter proclaims a celebrity “dead” and the celebrity is there to defend themselves. It’s really a lose-lose situation, because since he won’t say anything about it either way, we only have one side of the story – that he’s guilty. And now he’s losing a new show over it, parts of his tour as I understand are being cancelled – I mean, things have really escalated in the worst ways possible – right down to a TMZ rumor involving innocent Raven-Symone, who was a baby on the Cosby Show with him when she started her acting career.

For right now, the whole thing is truly disheartening. Unfortunately, it is possible that these things could have happened, as people do have skeletons in their closet that will come to the light eventually, as all things do. Some of these things will be very surprising when coming from people we hold in such high regard, such as Bill Cosby. Remember Robin Williams? A man who brought the rest of the world so much joy, but he himself had many personal battles with suicide, which got the best of him in the end. While we’re waiting on the outcomes of this whole thing, it really does lead to a question: are you, sitting there reading this, doing things in private that can be glorified when brought to the light…or viewed as monsterous? We get so upset about these figures we hold on a pedalstool, but think about it. Do you have anything unhealthy in your private life that could ruin you, even among just a few good people you trust – and can you live without it? Maybe this isn’t the direction our thoughts should go in, I don’t know – but things like this always make me eventually turn the mirror on myself to make sure that if it was me in the situation, what could I have done to abstain from getting there?

I truly hope something positive can come out of all of this.

-BB2

BB2 Monthly Assessment: October

This month, the main thing on my mind has very much to do with my most recent lack of legs.

Over two months ago, I fell and sprained my knee – bad enough that I had to readjust my activity at work, teach sitting often, and never going out to socialize because “I need to put my legs up.” I did everything the doctors told me to in order to get better, between physical therapy, medicine for the muscle inflammation, icing my knees regularly, etc. I even used crutches for a while, which was the most annoying physical thing to do ever. (I had some outstanding arm muscles from it, however.) After what felt like an agonizing 1.5 months, I finished physical therapy, had been off my crutches, eventually stopped using a knee brace, and could walk around fine (and nearly run!) feeling about 90% recovered just fine. I remained on my feet all week, working very hard in school and work even if it meant being ‘everywhere’ (but being careful whenever possible).

Sadly…my injured knee eventually relapsed after all this activity. Bad enough that both knees were in a lot of pain, and I had to go back to two crutches and a brace, AND get temporary handicapped parking just so I could get around campus easier. I figured it was from overworking it, and had to get an MRI done for further results – turns out while most of the inflammation is gone, there’s just enough left (a very little bit) to cause the pain I’m still experiencing. So next it’s off to an orthopedic surgeon for more specific guidance.

Why do I mention all of this? Not for sympathy or anything like that. But because I didn’t get why it was happening. I had gotten better, and tried to resume normal activity. Why was I back down again?

Well as it happens, this serves as a perfect metaphor for life’s hardships. The very things we most depend on and take for granted just might be taken from right under us sometimes! It could be things…it could be people…it could be a good situation…so on and so on.

I also mention this because I think I’m supposed to understand this later. This whole thing’s had me feeling like I’m 25 going on 65, and I’ve been told a thousand times by people over the age of 40 that “You’re young, don’t worry – you’ll bounce back soon.” My first instinct is always “yeah no, right now I just feel pretty elderly.” But then again, there’s probably some truth to this. Later on, I’ll probably experience something that will have only made sense because I already went through not having great use of my legs. I’ve already been through that after having dislocated my shoulder months ago. (My conducting shoulder, at that!)

My point: we can’t take our negative experiences for granted. To be honest, I do not have all the answers on this particular situation yet, and it is absolutely not fun whatsoever. However, I do believe that every negative experience provides us with something to learn from (big or small) that we may grow from it and into something more positive later on. Sometimes, we have to fall back to move forward, right?
There’s a great song on the very subject that Take 6 did an arrangement of that explains it a little better that I do here:

-BB2

 

To Amber Joy Vinson

Dear Amber,

The news of you having symptoms of the Ebola virus have stricken many emotions throughout the U.S. – the main one being fear. For obvious reasons, no one is comfortable with the idea of a deadly disease being among our country, especially in areas where we think it may be easily accessible. As a native of the NE Ohio area, many here have thrown themselves into panic since your visit home to see family and friends. Such panic has even led to locations you visited while in town closing, in fear that the disease symptoms may have floated around in their business. Now, you are quarantined away, receiving treatment for a deadly disease that you unfortunately received while caring for another who had it.

Here’s what, in my opinion, is the most heartbreaking about this situation that I don’t think many are realizing: you are a young 20-something nurse, you gave your all to perform care and duty for another who had an extremely vital and deadly virus which was very risky, unfortunately the worst situation happened, and now you are quarantined – away from all loved ones, as no one can be with you for fear of catching the disease. Yes, away: you are not even able to see your family to have them tell you that they love you, comfort you in this dire time of struggle, or even receive a hug from someone to say “it’ll be okay. I’m here with you.” THAT, and that alone, is the single most heartbreaking thing about this entire situation. If I was in your shoes, all I would want was the support and presence of my family there in my time of great difficulty.

Yet what is America busy doing right now? “OMG EBOLA IS IN OUR COUNTRY” “MY SHOP IS CLOSED, I CAN’T RISK CATCHING THAT” “WE’RE ALL DOOMED” “I NEED TO WEAR MY MASK OUTSIDE AND WASH MY HANDS LIKE NEVER BEFORE” “HOW DARE SOMEBODY BRING THIS AWFUL DISEASE IN OUR COUNTRY?!” – I’m sorry, but why didn’t you say anything when it was killing so many in Africa for so long before it came over here? Yes, of course it’s right to take precaution and be aware of when something like this is in our backyard to avoid it. But Amber, when it was announced that you had been in our area just before showing Ebola symptoms, it was not “oh my goodness, it she okay? How terrible! And her family/loved ones are now having to be quarantined as well – how awful” from most people. It was “PASS THE FACE MASKS! WHO DID THIS TO US?!?”

Amber, now that I am more aware of what is involved with this virus, I am extraordinarily sympathetic and saddened by what you are going through. I personally am praying that God has His hand over you in this process and that you are able to defeat it. If anything, know that you do have people out there who are thinking of you, support you, and care for you. I never knew you, but I know that if it was me in your shoes, that’s all I would want.

-BB2

(P.S. to the rest of America: I think this says it best right now. Action on misplaced fear is the wrong reaction.)

BB2 Monthly Assessment: September

I haven’t had much time to write this past month with the start of a very busy school year, and as such this post will be brief. However, it’s a healthy personal reflective habit that I’ve started this year and do not wish to discontinue, even when busy.

One things (among many) that I’ve recently noticed about myself is that when it comes to conversing with others, I really just like listening the most. It’s great to have a fun mutual exchange about events, shared interests, whatever’s happening at the moment, some jokes, and so on. Depending on the environment and the person’s energy I’m feeding off of, I might either be all in on guiding the conversation, or I might be doing more listening, reacting, and support. But my favorite thing to do, I think, is having those few and far between moments with people where i can just learn about them. I can just listen to them share their thoughts, their ideas, past/present/future, what makes them who they really are. Even if I have little to contribute to the conversation and don’t necessarily need to provide follow-up statements, I just really enjoy getting that one-on-one chat with people once in a while to get an inner look. I had a great extended exchange with a coworker that turned into this some days ago, and it was great to have that kind of well-meaning bond-building kind of thing. These are the things that build the healthiest of relationships of any kind and people, in my opinion. So often we listen to talk in a conversation rather than listening to hear what the other person is saying. Doing the former, I believe, makes for a much more well-rounded and caring individual.

Finally, after my previous thoughts on dealing with death a couple weeks ago, I think this can also help to make those strong connections that will put a person in a better place to pay them their roses while they can appreciate them – just by talking. Sometimes it doesn’t matter what you’re doing, really. It just matters that you’re there.

-BB2

We are friends.